July 6, 2020 by Dean Bellefeuille


In an ideal world, we might perfectly compartmentalize our caregiving duties, sticking to a routine that met the requirements of a senior loved one, while enabling the time necessary to manage our assortment of other responsibilities. But naturally, life does not always follow our desired script, and conflicting needs are not unusual when it comes to senior parent caregiving. Many older adults balk at the need for help, while others may come to depend too heavily on an adult child, leading to unfulfilled expectations and ultimately irritation for both parties.

At Home Independent Living’s senior care specialists provide the following recommendations to help clarify expectations and communicate effectively:

  • Emphasize empathy. In place of drawing away from an older loved one whose expectations seem unreasonable, pause and empathize. Think through the issues your parent is facing, and how it may feel to be in his or her shoes. Then communicate your honest concern and desire to help.
  • Allow each other to be heard. Initiate a dialogue with your loved one, inviting her or him to express how it feels to be in need of care, and what type of care is needed. Identify what the senior’s expectations are, and then share your personal expectations and limitations in having the ability to thoroughly meet his or her needs.
  • Compromise to come to a solution. Reaching a resolution that works well for both of you might be much less difficult than you think. For example, if the older adult expects assistance with transportation in accordance with a certain schedule several times a week, perhaps you can offer that assistance one day, while recruiting the help of others to cover additional days. This provides for increased socialization for the older adult in addition to the healthy life balance you need.

At Home Independent Living is prepared to partner with family caregivers with highly skilled, carefully matched care professionals who are passionate about making life the best it can be for older adults. Working together with At Home Independent Living allows adult children to ensure their aging parents are well taken care of all of the time, whether by filling in with respite care where needed, through around-the-clock live-in care, or a variety of solutions in between. Just a few of the various ways we can help include:

  • Safe, accompanied transportation
  • Running errands
  • Planning and preparing healthy meals
  • Keeping the home clean and neat
  • Offering friendly companionship to brighten each day
  • Creative and highly specialized care for people who have dementia
  • And much more

Contact us at (315) 579-HOME (4663) to share the challenges you are facing, and to learn more about how our respite care in Syracuse, NY or the surrounding areas can help with senior parent caregiving.